Subject: Mother-In-Law Jokes

I went on safari with my wife and mother-in-law. This was of course in our younger years

One evening, while still deep in the jungle, Mama, awoke to find her mother gone.

Rushing to me, she insisted on us both trying to find her mother.

I picked up my rifle, took a swig of Jack, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, we came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.

Mama said, "What are we going to do?"

"Nothing," I said "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Some years ago, I went on vacation in the Holy Land with my wife and mother-in-law.

Halfway through the trip, the mother-in-law had a massive coronary and passed away.

The undertaker assured me that they can bury the woman here for $150, but to ship the body home would cost five thousand dollars.

I just say, "OK ship the body home."

"Are you sure?" asked the undertaker. "That's an awfully big expense, and I can assure you that we do a very nice burial here".

"Look," I say, "Two thousand years ago they buried a guy here, and 3 days later he rose from the dead. I just don't want to take that chance!"



My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.


I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.


Money talks ...but all mine ever says is good-bye.


You're not fat, you're just... easier to see. Best to keep 911 on speed dial after that one.


If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.


I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”

Decided to skip lunch on shore and head out fishing for smallmouth bass at noon today. The plan was for a game of catch and release, and as good luck would have it...three fish accepted my impromptu invitation.

The surface temperature of Lake Michigan has finally reached 55 degrees around here, so I was glad that at least a few fish were up to the challenge and showed up hungry. I set out 2 rods with mid sized shallow diving Rapala crank baits and started a Westward troll in ten feet of water. The action began almost immediately, so that was a good sign!

After the initial action subsided, the next hour was very quiet so I figured that I probably caught the tail end of the morning bite. It made sense to wrap things up and call it a day so I pulled lines and headed back to the beach.

The trip ended up being defined by a 2, 3 and 4 pounder. All strikes were nice and aggressive, with solid hook ups and safe releases.

I have not been active in my fly fishing around Baton Rouge for over 30 years. I used to find bream fly fishing at Henderson, North Ramah and the Pigeon area. I've tried Henderson a few times the past couple of years, but the water seems to really fluctuate. It appears North Ramah has been converted to bean fields. Old River above New Roads used to be good 40 years ago, but it appears totally messed up. Any ideas where some bream could be caught fly fishing? I have 8 grandsons now and I've taught most of them how to fly fish, but have not had much luck.

After our frost melted, I headed out to Beseck for a few hours. 44° at the ramp @ 10am, and the water temperature was 56.8°. Only a light breeze when I launched, but it picked up on and off all day. Most of my Bass spots were vacant but I caught a 2lb2oz Largemouth near the dam after an hour of looking. I checked the shallow end of the lake but saw no signs of beds. The warmest water I found was 59.5°. I fished docks all around the lake with no luck, but did catch a 1lb2oz buck on a blowdown. There were clouds of algae streaking the water, about 1-2 feet deep, all around the lake. Kinda unusual for this lake. It was an enjoyable day, and the trees around the lake are ahead of the one's at my house, so maybe spring is actually gonna happen. 🤣